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Posts tagged Happiness
It’s Time to Change Your Life
May 15th
Too often we come home after a long day at work and open the takeout food, then plop down on the couch and watch TV until it’s time for bed.
The next day, we do the same thing again.
While I have been known to indulge in this from time to time, there’s an issue with this lifestyle. You basically spend each day, trying to get through it. You’re just living for the weekend.
The weekend is never long enough, of course, and then it’s another week of the same.
The problem with this is that months — or years — can go by. That’s time you won’t get back.
It wouldn’t be so bad if you knew how long you had on this spinning rock called Earth. The truth is, we aren’t really sure. So I propose to you to make the most of it.
Spend some time learning something new, or creating something…or taking up a new hobby. There’s a thousand different things that you can do. You might even return to an existing hobby that you haven’t indulged in for a while.
You dont have to be a productivity guru or sell your television. Just get up off the couch and do something.
Write a blog post. Start a novel. Pick up a paintbrush and make art. It only costs you some time…and you were wasting it anyway.
The key to this is: don’t worry about whether or not it’s good enough. You don’t have to show it to anyone. The first draft of anything is never all that good anyway. You can always revise it later or learn from the mistakes that you made.
Just do it for the sake of the craft. You just might surprise yourself. You might even start learning a new skill, one that may get you out of your current job and into a new one.
The clock is ticking…
For some people, they feel that because they have a ton of ideas, they are doing something productive. Sadly, there are a million people with a million ideas. The difference between those million people and you is execution.
It’s not enough to have the idea, you have to do the work. If you want change, you have to put in the effort.
The other end of the spectrum is taking this advice too far. Remember that this is not your job. It’s your time to relax, to do something fun. Taken too far, you will stress yourself out even more.
Think about “The Soccer Mom Syndrome”. You spend so much time doing other activities that you don’t have any down time.
I’m suggesting a balance between your job and relaxation. Just…turn off the TV once in a while and go create something. You’ll be a lot happier.
What do you think? Let me know in the comments.
(Photo credit: Time for Change on Blackboard via Shutterstock)
Brian K. Vagnini is a musician, designer, engineer and writer of fiction and technical topics. He was a technical trainer for five years and learned about almost every class of software. His additional writing can be found at Grey Matter Ideas and "a href="http://www.wicketbang.com">Wicketbang.com.
Public Service Announcement: Your Phone DOES Shut Off (And So Do These Other Things)
May 13th
Due to the widespread confusion and misinformation on the following subjects, please take a few moments of your time to alert yourself to the following:
It’s Okay to Unplug…
Your phone. The impulse that you must answer anything that rings dates back to olden times when people had to answer the phone as there was no other way of knowing who was calling or whether it was an emergency. The advent of technology such as caller ID, voice mail, and text messaging has freed us from this urgency. We are now able to tell who is calling us, decide whether we are free to pick up, and the caller has the option of leaving a message which we can then use to determine the action we need to take.
You are hereby officially allowed to turn off your ringer or your phone altogether for important occasions like: family dinners, driving a car, sleeping, and having anything else you need to concentrate on. Please note that this permission extends to both work and personal phones.
The TV. The average American watches 5-6 hours of television a night. The percentage of quality entertainment on the 50,000+ stations currently in existence is approximately 7%.
In contrast, human beings have the capacity to perform up to 100 billion different tasks at any given time, from playing with their children to starting their own business to lying in a hammock under a tree and watching what shapes the clouds take. The average human being utilizes around 0.000001% of these abilities on a daily basis.
None of these statistics are scientific, but they’re probably pretty darn close. Turn off the TV.
Twitter/Facebook. You will never be able to catch every single remark your friends/random celebrities have made. You will never manage to see every picture someone posts of the dinner they’re having which I’m sure is magical in person but just looks like a glob on a plate when viewed on a computer screen. Your friends will not hate you because you missed their witty 140-character review of Ice Road Truckers—and if they do, you hereby have permission to find new friends.
On the rare occasions when social media is used to impart truly significant information like the birth of a child or the arrival of a hurricane, be assured that you will eventually hear the news by some other means even if you miss the tweet/post about it. Your sister will undoubtedly mention the arrival of your new nephew the next time you talk to her. You will see things like trees and cars flying past your window. You will know the big things without having to constantly monitor for them. Everything else is just fluff. Entertaining fluff, granted, but still fluff.
Your e-mail notifications. E-mail is a non-urgent form of communication. By its very nature, it is sent out into cyberspace with the understanding that it will be opened and read whenever the recipient gets to it/feels like it. There is no way for the sender to know when this will happen. If the sender has an urgent message to convey, it should be done by another method. This is the responsibility of the sender to understand.
As such, there is no need for you, as the recipient, to have a little pop-up notification alert you every single time a message comes in. This is the equivalent of the Postal Service taking each individual piece of mail the moment it’s dropped in a mailbox and delivering it immediately—by standing outside your window and tapping on the pane, waving the letter in the air and mouthing “Got another one!” (Then coming back five minutes later when another letter is sent.)
Turn off the notifications. It will be okay. I promise you.
Addendum
If you feel any other devices/sources of distraction should be added to this PSA, please feel free to leave your vote in the comments.
(Photo credit: Hand Press Power Button via Shutterstock)
Kelly Gurnett runs the blog Cordelia Calls It Quits, where she documents her attempts to rid her life of the things that don’t matter and focus more on the things that do. You can follow her on
How to Live Well
May 7th
‘Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.’ ~Seneca
Post written by Leo Babauta.
I’m not a rich man, nor do I fly around the world and drink champagne with famous people in exotic locales, nor do I own a sports car or SUV or a yacht.
And yet, I’m very happy.
Much happier than seven years ago when I ate fried foods and sweets all time time and felt unhealthy and overweight, when I watched television and was out of shape, when I shopped a lot and was in debt, when I worked a job that paid fairly well and had no time for myself or my loved ones.
How have I accomplished this? With small tricks. The truth is, you don’t need a lot to live well — you just need the right mindset.
Here’s what I’ve learned about living well on little:
- You need very little to be happy. Some simple plant food, modest shelter, a couple changes of clothes, a good book, a notebook, some meaningful work, and some loved ones.
- Want little, and you are not poor. You can have a lot of money and possessions, but if you always want more, you are poorer than the guy who has little and wants nothing.
- Focus on the present. Stop worrying about the future and holding onto the past. How much of your day is spent thinking about things other than where you are and what you’re doing, physically, at this moment? How often are we living as opposed to stuck thinking about other things? Live now and you live fully.
- Be happy with what you have and where you are. Too often we want to be somewhere else, doing something else, with other people than whoever we’re with right now, getting things other than what we already have. But where we are is great! Who we’re with (including just ourselves) is already perfect. What we have is enough. What we’re doing already is amazing.
- Be grateful for the small pleasures in life. Berries, a square of dark chocolate, tea — simple pleasures that are so much better than rich desserts, sugary drinks, fried foods if you learn to enjoy them fully. A good book borrowed from the library, a walk with a loved one in the park, the fine exertion of a short hard workout, the crazy things your child says, the smile of a stranger, walking barefoot on grass, a moment of quiet as the morning wakens and the world still rests. These little pleasures are living well, without needing much.
- Be driven by joy and not fear. People are driven by the fear of missing out, or the fear of change, or the fear of losing something. These are not good reasons to do things. Instead, do things because they give you or others joy. Let your work be driven not because you need to support a lifestyle and are afraid of changing it, but by the joy of doing something creative, meaningful, valuable.
- Practice compassion. Compassion for others creates loving, rewarding relationships. Compassion for yourself means forgiving yourself for past mistakes, treating yourself well (including eating well and exercising), loving yourself as you are.
- Forget about productivity and numbers. They matter not at all. If you are driven to do things to reach certain numbers (goals), you have probably lost sight of what’s important. If you are striving to be productive, you are filling your days with things just to be productive, which is a waste of a day. This day is a gift, and shouldn’t be crammed with every possible thing — spend time enjoying it and what you’re doing.
Why Chasing Money Is Worse Than Dogs Chasing Cars
May 2nd
We’ve all been there before and many of us are there right now.
And where would that be? Probably not on vacation, enjoying an experience to remember or working to improve our health.
We’re chasing money.
Many cultures preach that once you have a good income stream or a certain amount of money built up then good things will follow. Things like going to great restaurants, taking exotic trips, creating a home immersed in entertainment options, and freedom from the fear you’ll have to take a hand out.
Fact: Money is the primary pursuit for most of us from the time we finish high school to the time we retire.
Is this relentless chase the only way it can be or should be? You might not like my answer but you will get some actionable steps to improve your relationship with money.
The Ugly Parallel
Ever watched a cartoon or YouTube clip of a dog chasing a car? Even if they catch it they don’t exactly win a medal. Even worse, sometimes the dog gets permanently harmed in the process.
A human parallel comes from reflecting on this quote by the Joker in the movie The Dark Knight.
“Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it!”
Do you see your relationship with money in this quote? Don’t feel bad if you do. I certainly used to but I’ve learned a mindset that helps combat the desire for the constant pursuit of money. Try some of these steps to alter your beliefs about it and help yourself grow into positive behavior and habit change.
1. Say This Phrase Out Loud: “More money will make things better”. According to research, this is one of the most common beliefs among Americans (and I imagine people in other countries). Now say it a second time. Is it any more convincing? If you have a negative reaction to this experience the feelings when you say “happiness can be achieved with less or no money”. Which one of these statements resonates more?
2. Realize Why You’re Often Stressed: Did you run out of time to exercise this week because of your work hours? Were you racing around so fast that you didn’t have time to eat well? And did you prioritize your commitment to making money higher than your family and friends? Saying yes to any of these questions generates stress in all of us. Not surprisingly, the American Psychological Association found that money is the biggest cause of stress by far. To prove this isn’t just an American problem an international Reader’s Digest poll asked people in 16 countries what their biggest cause of stress was. The runaway answer? Money.
3. Ask Yourself What Role Money Plays in Life: So many people are too busy to assess the role of money in their life. I view money as the future ability to buy products and services that fulfill the needs of my family, friends, community, and charities I support. Just to give a couple of examples, two unfortunate paths in life I see people leading look like:
Money –> vacation –> relaxation/adventure –> happiness
Money –> buying future free time –> satisfaction with life
An alternate mindset is where money is at the end of the path instead of the start. After all, money is a by-product at the end of the path for people living out their core values (a.k.a. the happiest and healthiest).
4. Define Why You Chase Money: Getting and having money is not a bad thing. It’s not inherently evil and the reality is we all need it. But try brief exercise though. Write down five good reasons why you pursue money. Pause for a few minutes and actually write them down. Do you like what you see? It the time spent and priority assigned to getting money more important than other things you value in life?
My challenging you to find the “why” behind your relationship with money is for a sincere reason. This quote from the Goldberg and Lewis research team sums it up well.
“[People] have become so indoctrinated with the idea that having money is important, that they no longer question why. They are unaware that perhaps what they are truly seeking is an increase in self-respect, or security, or freedom, or love, or power.”
Treat Yourself with Respect
Your relationship with money could be an issue of balance but most likely it’s an issue of priorities or not knowing why you want it. Give yourself the respect you deserve by being more mindful about money than a dog is about chasing a car. I don’t want anyone getting hurt by a reckless pursuit and I hope you don’t either.
Which of these steps works best for you? Are there other steps you’ve successfully used to stop chasing money and improve your relationship with it? Please share a comment below.
(Photo credit: Man Chasing Falling Money via Shutterstock)
Joel Zaslofsky is the architect of the free Personal User Guide, allowing you to celebrate and share what makes you tick. When he’s not enjoying nature, chasing his son around the house or reading Lifehack.org, he’s creating actionable content at Enlightened Resource Management about the effective use of resources important to you.
The 39th Lesson
Apr 30th
Post written by Leo Babauta.
Today (April 30) is my 39th Un-un-birthday, and as usual, the day is a good day to pause and reflect.
Last year I wrote 38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years, and people seemed to find some use in it.
This year, I thought I’d share an additional lesson I’ve learned:
You’re not missing out.
Our lives are often ruled by the Fear of Missing Out, or FOMO. (Never heard of FOMO? You’re missing out.)
Some ways we let the fear of missing out rule us:
- We check email, Facebook, Twitter and other social networks often, in case we’re missing something important.
- We try and do the most exciting things, and are constantly in search of exciting things, because we’re worried we might miss out on the fun that others are having.
- We constantly read about what other people are doing, and try to emulate them, because it sounds like they’re doing something great that we’re not.
- We often want to travel the world, because it seems that other people are living amazing lives by traveling all the time.
- We miss what we don’t have, miss places and people who we aren’t with.
- We work constantly, because we think if we don’t, we might miss out on opportunities other people will get.
- We feel like our own lives are poor in comparison with the great lives others are leading, and so feel bad about ourselves.
I could go on and on, but I have a birthday breakfast to eat (Eva and the kids are baking something delicious), so I’ll stop there.
We fear missing out, but why?
The truth is, we could run around trying to do everything exciting, and travel around the world, and always stay in touch with our iPhones and Crackberries, and work and party all day long without sleep … but we could never do it all. We will always be missing something.
And so, if we cannot help missing out, what is a saner alternative than letting this fear drive us? Let go of it, and realize you have everything right now.
The best in life isn’t somewhere else. It’s right where you are, at this moment. There is nothing better than exactly that.
Pause for just 10 seconds, and notice where you are, what you’re doing, who you are, at this very moment. Notice that you are breathing, and how lovely that is. Notice that you can smile, and feel the joy in that. Notice the good things around you. Give thanks for the people you’ve seen today. Celebrate the perhaps not altogether insignificant fact that you are alive.
This moment, and who you are, is absolutely perfect.
You are missing nothing, because there is nothing better.
You can breathe, and let go of all that fear of missing out, and be happy with what you have. Be grateful, and each moment think not about what you’re missing, but what you’ve been given.
This past year has been my best ever, because each day I have celebrated my Un-birthday with a smile and warmth in my heart. Today, I celebrate my non-un-birthday, and it is perfect. This moment I have spent talking to you is a gift. Thank you, my friends.
How to Be 25% Happier in Five Minutes a Day
Apr 25th
Remember when you got a raise and bought a new car, and you’ve been happy ever since?
Neither do I.
It doesn’t work that way, does it? We buy things, we achieve goals, we indulge ourselves—but none of it gives us lasting happiness.
So, what does work? According to scientific research, the answer is gratitude.
Unhappiness often boils down to fear in one form or another: fear of not having enough, fear of not being enough.1 For example, you might be miserable at work because you’re afraid you can’t do your job, and you’re afraid you’ll be fired. You might hate doing the bills because you’re afraid you don’t have enough money. If somebody cuts you off in traffic and you get angry they put you in danger, that’s also fear.
But gratitude counteracts fear. If you can train yourself to be in a state of gratitude most of the time, you can reduce your fear and open yourself up to happiness.
It’s not mystical, and it’s not difficult. Each night before you go to bed, make a list of five things you’re grateful for.
It may seem foreign or awkward at first, but anybody can think of five things. You could be grateful for your family, a sunny day, a great meal, your health, your best friend, or a special moment. Even if things are going badly, you could be grateful for ways they aren’t worse.
There’s no need to edit or judge. Whether the things on your list are as profound as a parent’s love for a child, or as frivolous as my love for milkshakes, the important thing is to come up with at least five things you’re grateful for.
It doesn’t take long to have an effect. In one study, participants were 25% happier after doing this for only two weeks.2
Why it Works
By making a gratitude list every day, you retrain your brain to notice the positive. We encounter so much information every minute of our lives, our brains have to filter out most of it.
Just imagine if we noticed every tick of the clock or every footstep—we’d never get anything done. But when you learn a new word, suddenly you see that word everywhere. That’s because it’s been reclassified as something important, so instead of leaving it in the background, your brain starts pointing it out to you.
You can take advantage of that effect. By making the daily gratitude list, you put your brain on the lookout for things to be grateful for. Before long, you start noticing them everywhere.
More and more, you notice positive experiences as they happen, and you feel grateful in real time. Later, you get to enjoy the same experiences again as you remember them and put them on the list.
Positive Effects
One study found that after 21 days, participants who made daily gratitude lists were not just more optimistic and satisfied with their lives overall, they slept better and experienced less pain.3
In another study, participants were asked to make daily lists for only a week. Not only did they exhibit more happiness and less depression by the end of the week, they were still feeling the effects six months later. This was especially true for the people who kept making the lists, even though they were only supposed to do it for a week.4
I used this simple technique to help pull myself out of depression, and I use it now to keep feeling good. I hope it will work as well for you as it has for me.
Silly or serious, what’s one thing you’re grateful for right now?
1. What Happy People Know by Dan Baker and Cameron Stauth. Rodale, 2003, p. 24.
2,3. “Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life” by Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 84, No. 2, 377–389.
4. “Positive Psychology Progress: Empirical Validation of Interventions.” Martin E. P. Seligman, Tracy A. Steen, Nansook Park, and Christopher Peterson. American Psychologist, Vol. 60, No. 5 (July–August 2005), 410–421.
(Photo credit: Happy Jump via Shutterstock)
Cara Stein is the founder of 17000 Days, a blog about remembering that life is short and making your best days a common occurrence. She's a big believer in self-reinvention and building your ideal life for yourself. She's the author of How to be Happy (No Fairy Dust or Moonbeams Required) and Getting Unstuck. Her latest adventure is Beyond Fear, a workshop on overcoming your fears. Contact Cara on Twitter @cara_stein or Facebook
Learn the Art of Contentment and Reduce the Stress in Your Life
Apr 25th
Are you the kind of person that always looks to see what kind of car your neighbor is driving? Or are you worried about what your co-workers are making as far as salary? Not happy in your job, marriage, friendships, or “fill in the blank”?
You need to learn the art of contentment. Being content is not being driven by always wanting more. I know that ambition is a prized trait in our society. I am not saying that ambition is wrong. What I am saying is that the constant striving for more and not enjoying what you have or where you are at the moment will drive you crazy. Things do and will change. Have the attitude that they will change for the better. That can co-exist with being content. The attitude you have for the present will determine your stress level and even if you are in the right space or not to accomplish what you want for yourself.
I would like to give you couple ways to bring contentment into your life. As with anything, learning to master contentment takes practice. Work these techniques into your life and start to see the difference in your stress level.
Learn a Right View of Problems
There is an old saying, “What you focus on expands.” Have you noticed that when you buy a car, you start noticing people driving the same model? That is because you are hypersensitive and focused on that model. It is the same way with problems. If you focus on what is wrong in your life, what you don’t have that is what you will constantly see. You will see what you look for.
Now I am not telling you to ignore problems. Take them straight on and deal with them. Always think of them as temporary and changing and then, most important take action to change them. The difference between being content and not is understanding that the problem is a temporary situation. One of the main causes of suicide is seeing problems and situations as permanent and taking a permanent solution to them. All things change.
If you look for what is right in your life, you will end up seeing many things.
Learn to Cultivate Gratitude
One of the big problems of media these days is that we get an incorrect view of reality. We get false expectations. Everyone has a new car, each family has a 4,000 square foot home. You don’t see reality. The world is imperfect. There blemishes on the most beautiful apple. There will always be something wrong with everything. When we are content we can separate reality from our expectations.
Keep a mental or even written list of the things you are grateful for in your life. When you hit a rough patch, review them and remind yourself why you are grateful for what is going on in your life. You can do these by topic. Make a list of what you are grateful in your job, in your spouse, etc.
Don’t focus on comparisons. What someone else has or what someone else makes. The problem is that people only compare themselves to those who have more or make more. No one ever compares themselves to people who have or make less. Therefore they make false comparisons. Just stay away from comparisons totally and you will find yourself much less stressed out.
Stake Your Life on What Satisfies Your Passion
Bring into your life what satisfies your passions. Nothing will bring happiness, stress-free living quicker than by doing things you enjoy. It may be art, a hobby, travel, a course on improving yourself in some way, even something as simple as listening to a foreign language tape on your daily commute. I know some of you are saying you don’t have time. There is always time to squeeze in something you like to do.
What you don’t want to do is fully stake your life on what you don’t like. What you focus on expands. Once again, view that situation as in the process of changing while you concentrate on those things that bring you joy.
Contentment of the Spirit
Mark Twain said that the master passion of man was the contentment of the spirit. That is what we are really striving for, just to be content. Go ahead and practice these steps and see what they bring you.
(Photo credit: Businessman looking up and relaxing with hands behind head via Shutterstock)
For 20 years, Michael Martel was a Green Beret in the US Army. He now works with people to put Special Forces like effectiveness into their lives and businesses. Go to Achieve The Green Beret Way and learn about his book Get ER Done: The Green Beret Guide to Productivity and other tools for achieving outstanding results.
How to Meditate Daily
Apr 9th
Post written by Leo Babauta.
The habit of meditation is one of the most powerful things I’ve ever learned.
Amazingly, it’s also one of the most simple habits to do — you can do it anywhere, any time, and it will always have immediate benefits.
How many habits can you say that about?
While many people think of meditation as something you might do with a teacher, in a Zen Center, it can be as simple as paying attention to your breath while sitting in your car or on the train, or while sitting at the coffee shop or in your office, or while walking or showering.
It can take just one or two minutes if you’re busy. There’s no excuse for not doing it, when you simplify the meditation habit.
Why Meditate?
Why create a small daily meditation practice? There are countless reasons, but here are some of my favorite:
- It relieves stress and helps you to relax.
- When you practice mindfulness, you can carry it out to everyday life.
- Mindfulness helps you to savor life, change habits, live simply and slowly, be present in everything you do.
- Meditation has been shown to have mental benefits, such as improved focus, happiness, memory, self-control, academic performance and more.
- Some research on meditation has indicated that it may have other health benefits, including improved metabolism, heart rate, respiration, blood pressure and more.
Actually, some of the best benefits of meditation are hard to define — you begin to understand yourself better, for example, and form a self-awareness level you’ve never had before.
Most simply, sitting for just a few minutes of meditation is an oasis of calm and relaxation that we rarely find in our lives these days. And that, in itself, is enough.
How to Do It Daily
There are lots and lots of ways to meditate. But our concern is not to find a perfect form of meditation — it’s to form the daily habit of meditation. And so our method will be as simple as possible.
1. Commit to just 2 minutes a day. Start simply if you want the habit to stick. You can do it for 5 minutes if you feel good about it, but all you’re committing to is 2 minutes each day.
2. Pick a time and trigger. Not an exact time of day, but a general time, like morning when you wake up, or during your lunch hour. The trigger should be something you already do regularly, like drink your first cup of coffee, brush your teeth, have lunch, or arrive home from work.
3. Find a quiet spot. Sometimes early morning is best, before others in your house might be awake and making lots of noise. Others might find a spot in a park or on the beach or some other soothing setting. It really doesn’t matter where — as long as you can sit without being bothered for a few minutes. A few people walking by your park bench is fine.
4. Sit comfortably. Don’t fuss too much about how you sit, what you wear, what you sit on, etc. I personally like to sit on a pillow on the floor, with my back leaning against a wall, because I’m very inflexible. Others who can sit cross-legged comfortably might do that instead. Still others can sit on a chair or couch if sitting on the floor is uncomfortable. Zen practitioners often use a zafu, a round cushion filled with kapok or buckwheat. Don’t go out and buy one if you don’t already have one. Any cushion or pillow will do, and some people can sit on a bare floor comfortably.
5. Start with just 2 minutes. This is really important. Most people will think they can meditate for 15-30 minutes, and they can. But this is not a test of how strong you are at staying in meditation — we are trying to form a longer-lasting habit. And to do that, we want to start with just a two minutes. You’ll find it much easier to start this way, and forming a habit with a small start like this is a method much more likely to succeed. You can expand to 5-7 minutes if you can do it for 7 straight days, then 10 minutes if you can do it for 14 straight days, then 15 minutes if you can stick to it for 21 straight days, and 20 if you can do a full month.
6. Focus on your breath. As you breathe in, follow your breath in through your nostrils, then into your throat, then into your lungs and belly. Sit straight, keep your eyes open but looking at the ground and with a soft focus. If you want to close your eyes, that’s fine. As you breathe out, follow your breath out back into the world. If it helps, count … one breath in, two breath out, three breath in, four breath out … when you get to 10, start over. If you lose track, start over. If you find your mind wandering (and you will), just pay attention to your mind wandering, then bring it gently back to your breath. Repeat this process for the few minutes you meditate. You won’t be very good at it at first, most likely, but you’ll get better with practice.
And that’s it. It’s a very simple practice, but you want to do it for 2 minutes, every day, after the same trigger each day. Do this for a month and you’ll have a daily meditation habit.
Expanding Your Practice
Sitting and paying attention to your breath is really mindfulness practice. It’s a way to train yourself to focus your attention. Once you’ve practiced a bit while sitting in a quiet space, you can expand your mindfulness practice:
- When you feel stress, take a minute to pay attention to your breath, and return your mind to the present moment.
- Try taking a walk, and instead of thinking about things you need to do later, pay attention to your breath, your body’s sensations, the things around you.
- When you eat, just eat, and focus your attention on the food, on your feelings as you eat, on the sensations.
- Try a mindful tea ritual, where you focus your attention on your movements as you prepare the tea, on the tea as you smell and taste it, on your breath as you go through the ritual.
- Wash your dishes and sweep your floor mindfully.
This, of course, is just a start. There are many ways to practice mindfulness, including with other people, while you work, and so on.
How to Beat the Exhaustiveness of Stressful Work
Apr 5th
Post written by Leo Babauta.
I’ll confess: I recently let stress beat me.
I know, some of you think I’m perfect and never get stressed out, ever, especially as I’ve written about slowing down and simplifying for five years or so now.
But I do get stressed out, and I do sometimes overwork myself. It doesn’t happen much anymore, but it does happen. This week was one of those times.
Stress beat me … but stay with me until the end. In the end (spoiler alert), I beat out stress.
How Stress Beat Me This Week
As you might know, I created the Sea Change Program to help people change their lives, and The Mindful Diet course as part of the program because many members wanted help with healthy eating.
Unfortunately, there was a glitch in the registration process that caused 400 people to have registration problems, and so I spent two days manually fixing the problems (along with the trustworthy Dean, Zen Habits Creator of Smiles). It was tedious, exhausting work, and I did it until late at night and starting early in the morning.
I learned to do it almost as a form of meditation — trying to be mindful as I did it, much as I try to do when I sweep or wash dishes or take a walk.
Still, the overwhelming amount of people needing help at once stressed me out for two days, and at the end of it, I was wiped out.
How I Measured the Effect of Stress
Normally, we can feel the exhausting effects of stress, subjectively, but it’s hard to really know how much of an effect this is having on our minds and bodies.
On Tuesday, I found an objective measure of the toll stress had on me: strength training. I’ve been sticking to a regular weight lifting program for about 7 weeks now, doing the same four workouts (mostly barbell stuff with chinups and dips) and logging my progress. So I know pretty much exactly how much I should be able to lift for each workout.
But on Tuesday, I tried to lift the same amount I had lifted a week earlier, no more, on the exact same lifts with the exact same rest periods. I was too tired to make it through even half the workout. My body (and mind) couldn’t do what it had done a week before.
There are lots of possible reasons: not enough fuel (but I eat the same thing every day), too much other types of activities (but that is also very consistent on my current schedule), not enough sleep (this was slightly less in the last two weeks, but that amount hasn’t hurt me this much in recent weeks), burnout due to too much exercise over a period of weeks (possibly a factor, but looking at my log, probably not), illness (but I’m not sick, actually very healthy right now).
After evaluating the many possible factors, stress is the most obvious. A few of the other factors probably played a smaller part, but stress was most likely the biggest factor. And it had a major effect, judging from my objective test.
How I Beat Stress
Here’s what I did:
- After two stressful, exhausting days, the workout was actually my first step to recovery. It might seem counterintuitive — why exercise when you’re exhausted? And sometimes that can be dangerous — adding the stress of lots of exercise to physical and mental exhaustion can put you at risk of burnout or injury. But I’ve found that a good bout of exertion works wonders for when I’m stressed. So I ran and lifted a few weights. I instantly felt better.
- Then I meditated for about 10 minutes. Bringing myself back to the moment is a great way to beat stress.
- I then shut down my computer, got outside, walked, met with a friend and spent a few hours of disconnected time.
- When I got back, I did return to the computer, but only allowed myself shorter bursts.
- I also took a short nap (highly, highly recommended).
- I massaged my shoulders (OK, my wife Eva also helped with the shoulder massage).
- I read for a bit.
- I spent some time reading with my kids.
- And I had some green tea while drinking it slowly and savoring it.
This is a de-stressing routine that works wonders. You don’t need to do the entire routine, but pick three or four and apply generously.
Why You Need to Make a Life Plan
Mar 30th
Do you have a life plan? Have you ever thought about how to make a life plan? Most people haven’t, but they should.
We are not talking about a 50-page business plan with maps and checklists. A life plan is really just meant to be general summary of where you are now in all the areas that matter to you, where you want to improve and what you’d like your life to look like in the future.
Don’t be scared off by the title. It may sound ominous, but creating a life plan does not need to be a difficult or lengthy process. It’s worth an hour to get the life we want, instead of chasing the wrong things and working hard, only to find that we have been following the wrong path.
The Process
How would you rate your life? – Are you satisfied with the way your life is right now? Somewhat satisfied? Not at all satisfied? The answer is for your eyes only. No one else needs to know. Be honest.
What is going on in your life now? – Briefly summarize the current state of your life. Consider your health, career, relationships, finances, spirituality, and emotional well-being. Add any other areas of life that are important to you. Don’t take too much time with this. Just write down what your life is like right now.
What makes you happy? – Think about what you enjoy. Think about things that are going well in your life. Include activities, people, and situations that bring you joy, satisfaction, or just make you laugh.
What are the drains? – Pinpoint the drains on your energy and happiness. Determine what people, behaviors, choices or situations cause stress, anxiety, or a negative mood. We all have life toxins; people or things that suck the life out of us like vampires draining our life force.
What isn’t working in your life? – Think about where you want to improve. Identify your obstacles to living a fulfilling and happy life. Consider the lingering challenges in your life; health, fitness, weight, lack of organization, an unsatisfying or dead-end job, a difficult or damaging relationship. Perhaps, you simply need to manage your stress better, get more balance, or just learn to laugh again.
What would your ideal life look like? – Describe in detail what kind of life would truly make you happy to get out of bed in the morning. Describe what you would be doing, whom you would be with, and how you would be feeling. Be honest and be clear. It’s important to be really clear about what you really want in your future.
What do you need to do to get that life? – Think about what needs to happen for you to get from where you are now, to where you want to be. It doesn’t have to be a detailed action plan right now, just some general goals or ideas to work toward. You can get more detailed later, but you need to define a target. Consider what habits you’d like to adopt or what ways you might change your attitude or environment.
More food for thought
What do you really want to accomplish in this life?
What kind of person do you want to be?
What is most important to you in life?
Why do you want whatever it is that you want?
How would you like to be remembered?
What will your life be like if you never change the way it is right now?
(Photo credit: Architecture blueprint & tools via Shutterstock)
Royale Scuderi is a writer, life and business coach who empowers individuals and businesses to achieve higher productivity, growth, business success and work - life balance. She offers wisdom, insight and ideas to help you get the most out of your life at Productive Life Concepts.