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Erin Kurt
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Posts by Erin Kurt
The One Thing That MUST Be on Your Holiday To Do List
Nov 28th
We often think that the holidays are for spending quality time with our family, carrying out traditions and enjoying time at home with the ones we love the most. Although the holidays are truly a special time for our families, so should it be for you and you alone.
For most of us, we make plans to buy gifts, bake, shop, cook the right food, and decorate, but forget to plan time where we are away by ourselves doing whatever it is that makes us happy. Usually during the holidays there is enough support around (family or spouse) to look after the children while we take some time to pamper ourselves, so this works out perfectly.
Why is this time so important for one to take?
It’s like the message the airlines relate to us every time we take a flight – “Please place your oxygen mask on yourself before you tend to your child.” They tell us this because our children can’t be taken care of if we are slumped over from a lack of oxygen. The same is true for us in everyday life, particularly around the holiday season, when we can more easily take time out for ourselves due to the extra support around us. We MUST use this time to do something for ourselves in order to recharge and feel ready and willing to be “mom” or “dad” again.
But why MUST we do this?
Scientists in the Journal of Research in Personality stated that just five minutes of quiet solitude is all it takes to reset the body’s stress-regulating sympathetic nervous system. In fact, when study volunteers took a solo timeout, their heart rates dropped and blood pressure stabilized. Plus, they subconsciously drew deeper breaths. This triple effect left them feeling focused, rejuvenated and 58 percent more energized. So, if 5 minutes can do this, just think how great you would feel if you scheduled an hour or two away by yourself doing something you love!
Here are some suggestions for you to try. Feel free to add your own!
- Get a manicure, pedicure, or both!
- Go for a walk in nature.
- Sit at a cafe and read a book while sipping a latte or tea.
- Get a massage.
- Take a bath then cozy up in bed with a great magazine and a cup of tea while family or hubby takes the kids out to play
- Go to a yoga or exercise class.
- Watch a movie by yourself while everyone is out of the house.
- Write in a journal or diary. Write about your goals, fears, and things you’re grateful for.
- Get a facial or give yourself one at home while everyone is away from the house
- Go to the library and search the shelves for every book you said you’d love to read. Sign them out or book them for later. Then sit down and enjoy the peace and quiet of a library while you get lost in a fabulous book.
A whole lot of planning goes into this time of year. Why not put yourself on that list of things to do? Your mind, body, spouse and children will thank you for it.
Erin Kurt, B.Ed, spent 16 years as a teacher and nanny around the world. Now, she applies her expertise as a parenting expert and author of Juggling Family Life. You can learn more about Erin and her simple, loving parenting method, and subscribe to her weekly parenting tips e-zine at ErinParenting.com.
The Secret to Helping Your Child Excel in School and in Life
Nov 10th
Is your child struggling in school? Does your child stall when it comes time to do homework? Does your child’s teacher often comment that your child is capable, but is just not working to his or her potential? Or does your child do alright in school, but seems a bit bored or lacks enthusiasm for learning?
Well, there is a secret that you need to know in order for you to change this.
We are all born with certain propensities. We enjoy doing some things more than others and we see the world and experience it from a certain perspective. Parents can often say, “Oh, Johnny could stay outdoors playing in the dirt all day long,” or “Susie is such a people person”. At a very early age children show what they enjoy doing and what they are naturally interested in. Paying attention to this can be very beneficial to parents and in turn, to their children.
The Theory of Multiple Intelligences
Dr. Howard Gardner, Professor of Education at Harvard University, developed a theory called Multiple Intelligences. The theory suggests that the traditional notion of intelligence, which is based on I.Q. testing, is far too limited.
Instead, Dr. Gardner proposes eight different intelligences to account for a broader range of human potential in children and adults. Here’s a brief summary of these eight intelligences:
- Linguistic Intelligence (Word Smart): This type of intelligence involves sensitivity to spoken and written language, the ability to learn languages, and the capacity to use language to accomplish certain goals. This intelligence includes the ability to effectively use language to express oneself rhetorically or poetically; and language as a means to remember information. Writers, poets, lawyers and speakers are among those that Gardner sees as having high linguistic intelligence.
- Logical-Mathematical Intelligence (Number/Reasoning Smart): This type consists of the capacity to analyze problems logically, carry out mathematical operations, and investigate issues scientifically. In Gardner’s words, it entails the ability to detect patterns, reason deductively and think logically. This intelligence is most often associated with scientific and mathematical thinking.
- Musical Intelligence (Music Smart): This type involves skill in the performance, composition, and appreciation of musical patterns. It encompasses the capacity to recognize and compose musical pitches, tones, and rhythms.
- Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence (Body Smart): This type entails the potential of using one’s whole body or parts of the body to solve problems. It is the ability to use mental abilities to coordinate bodily movements.
- Spatial Intelligence (Picture Smart): This type involves the potential to recognize and use the patterns of wide space and more confined areas.
- Interpersonal Intelligence (People Smart): This type is concerned with the capacity to understand the intentions, motivations and desires of other people. It allows people to work effectively with others. Educators, salespeople, religious and political leaders and counsellors all need a well-developed interpersonal intelligence.
- Intrapersonal Intelligence (Self Smart): This type entails the capacity to understand oneself, to appreciate one’s feelings, fears and motivations.
- Naturalist Intelligence (Nature Smart): This type enables human beings to recognize, categorize and draw upon certain features of the environment. A number of schools in North America have looked to structure curricula according to these intelligences, and to design classrooms and even whole schools to reflect the understandings that Howard Gardner developed. It takes a commitment though from school boards, administrators and teachers to put something like this into practice.
Dr. Gardner says that our schools and culture focus most of their attention on linguistic and logical-mathematical intelligence. We hold the highly articulate or logical people of our culture in great esteem. However, Dr. Gardner says that we should also place equal attention on individuals who show gifts in the other intelligences: the artists, architects, musicians, naturalists, designers, dancers, therapists, entrepreneurs, and others who enrich the world in which we live.
Unfortunately, many children who have these gifts don’t receive much reinforcement for them in school. Many of these kids, in fact, end up being labeled “learning disabled,” “ADD,” or simply underachievers, when their unique ways of thinking and learning aren’t addressed by a heavily linguistic or logical-mathematical classroom.
So, if your child’s school does not teach based on these principles, how can you as the parent use them to help your child be successful in school and in life? Let’s first take a look at how Howard Gardner’s theory would work in a classroom. Then, we’ll look at how you can use these techniques at home.
Multiple Intelligences in the Classroom
Let’s say that a teacher needs to teach a lesson about The Law of Supply and Demand. They might do any or all of the following:
- Read to their students about it (linguistic)
- Study mathematical formulas that express it (logical-mathematical)
- Examine a graphic chart that illustrates the principle (spatial)
- Observe the law in the natural world (naturalist)
- Observe the law in the human world of commerce (interpersonal)
- Examine the law in terms of one’s own body, such as when you supply your body with lots of food, the hunger demand goes down; when there’s very little supply, your stomach’s demand for food goes way up and you get hungry (bodily-kinesthetic and interpersonal)
- Write a song (or find an existing song) that demonstrates the law like Bob Dylan’s “Too Much of Nothing? or John Mayer’s “Waiting on the World to Change”.
It isn’t necessary for teachers to teach something in all eight ways. But it is necessary for them to see what the possibilities are, and then decide which particular pathways align best with the topic.
In addition, a teacher should also provide students with an opportunity to discover which intelligence best describes themselves. After students are aware of this they can take charge of their learning. When they study for tests they can relate all the ideas to topics that mean something to them. When they work on a project they can present it in a way that most makes sense to them.
Multiple Intelligences in the Home
If your child’s school doesn’t work this way then you can still teach this to your child and they can still use the strategy to study and complete projects and assignments. Here’s how:
- Have your child take this test, which determines their intelligence. Then, describe all eight intelligences to them in language appropriate to their age so that they will have a clearer understanding of each one.
- Once your child is clear about how they learn and how this is innately what they enjoy, then the next step is to show them how they can use this with their school work.
- When an assignment or project comes home tell them to put the topic of whatever the project is in the center of a blank sheet of paper, and draw eight straight lines or “spokes” radiating out from this topic. Label each line with a different intelligence. Then start brainstorming ideas for learning or showing that topic and write down ideas next to each intelligence. They might just want to do the assignment in a way that aligns with their intelligence, but it’s important for them to know that everyone has a little of each intelligence — so they can mix and match too.
With anything new, this process will need guidance and practice. However, you will be amazed at how quickly they catch on and how engrossed in their homework they will be simply by taking this approach.
Conclusion
Our world has become smaller due to globalization and it’s also becoming a world where different “traits” or intelligences are needed. Let’s help our children understand and feel good about themselves. With these two things in place they will feel confident to use what they’ve got to help make their difference in this world.
Erin Kurt, B.Ed, spent 16 years as a teacher and nanny around the world. Now, she applies her expertise as a parenting expert and author of Juggling Family Life. You can learn more about Erin and her simple, loving parenting method, and subscribe to her weekly parenting tips e-zine at ErinParenting.com.
5 Quick and Simple Steps for a Happier Halloween
Oct 31st
Halloween has arrived.
You’re prepared for the night and the kids are excited to head out the door and start trick-or-treating. But with all of the hustle and bustle (especially when Halloween falls on a weekday), a happy Halloween can quickly turn into a stressful evening for even the most prepared of families.
So, to make sure your Halloween is a happier one, here are 5 steps you will want to take to ensure that your kids do not fall down the slippery slope of sugar highs, tiredness and tantrums.
Step 1: Have Dinner
Have an easy, but healthy dinner prepared like soup and sandwiches along with raw veggies and dip. Eat earlier than usual to give yourselves more time to dress up and prepare for the evening. While eating, review how to call out “Trick or Treat” in a non-shouting voice and speak about trick-or-treating manners (saying “thank you”, being safe, etc.).
Step 2: Suit Up
Get the kids dressed. If it’s cold outside, be sure they wear:
- undershirts
- stockings/extra socks
- gloves (if they don’t have them as part of their costume)
A hat might be a tough sell if it doesn’t go with the costume, but gloves generally don’t take anything away from a costume. Since they plan on being out there for as long as they can, so make sure they’re dressed for it.
Step 3: Head Out
Start trick-or-treating! I suggest choosing 1-3 blocks of houses instead of a whole neighborhood. The fun is to get out, show your costume, see others and get some treats. It’s NOT to bulk up on 60 pounds of sugar.
Step 4: Candy Check
Check the candy when you get home. Each child should dump out their bag and either Mom or Dad should go through it to make sure all is safe. Homemade items, sadly enough, should be avoided as should candy that seems opened or half-opened. Do this now while you’re in the moment.
Step 5: Set “Sweet” Rules
Make a rule that only two pieces of candy will be eaten a day, then let your kids choose the two items they’d like to enjoy that evening and the other two they’d like to enjoy at school the next day. Then, one of the parents should take the bag (or wherever the candy is now stored) and put it somewhere that is out of the reach of small hands.
One more thing…
Consider this a “bonus step”. Put the kids to bed at their normal bedtime (or as close to as possible) so that they are refreshed for school the next day. Then enjoy the rest of your Halloween night, made all the happier by simply following through on these quick and simple steps.
Erin Kurt, B.Ed, spent 16 years as a teacher and nanny around the world. Now, she applies her expertise as a parenting expert and author of Juggling Family Life. You can learn more about Erin and her simple, loving parenting method, and subscribe to her weekly parenting tips e-zine at ErinParenting.com.
How to Get Your Husband (or Wife) to Help Out More
Sep 12th
Parenting can be a full on job. If you’re a single parent you know this well. Beyond work, there are many details to take care of: cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, disciplining, etc. Many moms I coach tell me they feel overwhelmed and when I dig deeper I find that one of the reasons they feel this way is because they’re doing a lot on their own.
One mom I coach has three children and works three mornings a week. She is also responsible for all the housework. She told me her husband says that his job is stressful and that he needs the evenings to relax… But “she’s tired too!” she told me.
Bringing up small children takes time, patience and consistency. Without support, it can be tiring. Moms who cope all day long on their own can struggle to manage the situation. Then Dad comes home in the evening to a stressed-out wife who may be full of resentment at the load she’s carried all day.
In some cases dads will respond by withdrawing from family life and responsibilities. In other cases dads would happily support their wife but find that their wife doesn’t “allow” them to do anything. One dad told me, “she thinks she can do it better than me so she just does it by herself.”
Many moms have this curse of martyrdom. They rush around doing everything to the point of exhaustion and resent every last minute.
What is the best way for parents to support each other so that everyone is sharing the load and truly acting like a family “team”?
Here are a few ideas to try. See which one fits your situation or feels most comfortable to you.
1. Simply ask for help
Tell your husband or wife that you would like to have a chat about something. Be sure they agree on when. Is now a good time? If not, when? Then share your feelings as briefly as possible. For example:
“I am really feeling overwhelmed. I feel that if we shared some of the jobs I would feel better and would be able to have some much needed down time with myself as well as with you.”
2. Be sure to have a set routine in place
From the time you and/or your husband gets home from work to the time your kids go to bed, make sure your family consistently follows the same routine every night so that either you share the load together or you take turns looking after things.
3. Cut back on expenses enough to hire a cleaner
They can come once a week, twice a month or just once a month. Any version will help out in a major way – I know this one to be very true!!!
4. Say, “thank you”
Thank your husband or wife when you feel relieved by their help. A quick text, flowers, note, hug, kiss or “Thank you” is not difficult to do. Just watch how that little token of appreciation makes your partner step up and be more consistent with their help.
Erin Kurt, B.Ed, spent 16 years as a teacher and nanny around the world. Now, she applies her expertise as a parenting expert and author of Juggling Family Life. You can learn more about Erin and her simple, loving parenting method, and subscribe to her weekly parenting tips e-zine at ErinParenting.com.
How to Change Stressful Dinners With Kids Into Precious Family Time
Sep 5th
Meal times are one of the cornerstones of your daily routine. They can be the most joyous part of your day or the most dreaded part of your day.
When you have small children it is very important that you be consistent and that they sit down to eat at roughly the same times every day. It’s also important that those times are spaced far enough apart so that your kids have an appetite for what’s put in front of them, but not so far apart that the run-up to every meal is marked by the kind of bad behaviour and irritability that’s triggered by hunger and low blood sugar levels.
Meals though, are not just about getting the right amount and type of food into your kids at the right time. They’re also occasions when your family can be together sharing news, talking over what everyone’s been up to during the day, sharing successes and disappointments as well as just enjoying each other’s company.
My family also uses meal times to share how we helped someone or made someone smile that day.
In many families, meal times are not so enjoyable. Instead, they’re running battles to get kids to eat, behave, or just sit down at the table. How do you turn this scenario around so that mealtimes become one of your favourite times of the day with your family?
The first step is to establish some ground rules. Here are seven rules that can help family dinners turn into precious family time:
- Children should wash their hands before they eat.
- Children need to sit at the table and not run off.
- TV stays off during meals.
- Children need to finish chewing before speaking.
- No one answers the telephone during meals.
- Children need to eat nicely – no playing with their food.
- Children need to TRY something – if they don’t like it that’s fine, but they must TRY it. If they truly try something and really don’t like it then they are free to eat the side dishes.
These rules are pretty simple which make it easy for you to reinforce. If your child breaks one of the rules, use this phrase:
“Ella, (of course use your own child’s name here), you need to ________________ (finish chewing your food before you speak. We don’t talk with food in our mouths.)”
The key words here are, “You need to” and “We”. These words teach your rules and values clearly and concisely but they also join you as a family instead of placing blame or belittling. When your child hears, “We” they hear, “Oh, yeah, that’s what my family does” instead of, “I’m bad again”.
If your child continues to misbehave or break a rule after this reminder then you can use my 4 Step Discipline Technique.
A couple of other things to make sure meal time is relaxing:
- Ease up. Gradually give your baby (child) the opportunity to experience independence because it’s what they crave. As soon as your baby can sit upright, without additional support, bring the high chair to the table. Let her feed herself as much as possible – with finger foods to start off with.When she’s big enough, give her a booster seat. Try not to make a 2 1/2 or 3 year old be stuck in a high chair drinking from a bottle or sippy cup – they are beyond this. It’s okay though to have a 2 – 2 1/2 year old wear a bib until they can show you they don’t need it, but try to allow them to practice being independent.
- Use a speaking object, if necessary. Sometimes families, larger ones especially, struggle because everyone wants to speak at the same time. Decide as a family on what object could be used to show whose turn it is to talk. It could be the salt shaker or something more special like a shell someone found on a family holiday. Pass this object around to ensure that only the person with it in front of them is speaking.
Use these tips and tricks consistently and I guarantee that meal times will become one of your most favourite times of the day!
Erin Kurt, B.Ed, spent 16 years as a teacher and nanny around the world. Now, she applies her expertise as a parenting expert and author of Juggling Family Life. You can learn more about Erin and her simple, loving parenting method, and subscribe to her weekly parenting tips e-zine at ErinParenting.com.



